power in weakness

not really sure how to express how i feel at this current time...leaving for an experience that is sure to change my life/living out of the country for 4 months is not quite a normal "everyday" thing..

currently:

- my room is COMPLETELY trashed. packing for 4 months is overwhelming and intimidating so instead i seem to just make piles of things to be packed (rather than actually packing them) and then sit and eat the oreos (that are meant to be packed) while surrounded by said piles.

- i have daily friend/family-dates. which is great. loving the opportunity to see, spend time with and talk with those i love most. leaving the country creates a chance to do that in a short period of time. which leads me to my next point:

- food. hitting up ALL of my favorite GRap restaurants (some twice) in order to make it 4 months without (for example) marie catrib's chicken cranberry sandwhich. mmmmmmm.

- i am a knitting fool. i am bringing bulk yarn and needles with me to teach women a "sustainable" tool. which gets me VERY excited (and a little nervous...must channel my inner-teacher). so now? i am visiting michael's multiple times per day and trying many different patterns. (also knitting gives me something to do while thinking, something i am doing quite a lot of..)

today i had a bit of a panic moment...

who am I to go and spend time with, teach, disciple, and live amongst women, babies, and in a country that has experienced more than i can imagine..

how am i to relate to them...

i am not "rob-bell-esk" with my words (point proven right there)...how will they ever learn from me...

but then i realized that it is not going to be me. God is the one who has brought me to this place in my life, he has clearly brought this opportunity before me and shaped it in a way that is fit just for me. and He tells me that "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." (2 cor 12:9) and then i was able to breathe easy once again.

i am weak, He is strong.

i need grace, His grace is sufficient.

i need to be empowered, He will do just that.

i am confident that He will equip me and use me, if i am weak, then he will be strong.

to close, a quote i need to read daily:

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire..Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, 'Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me the grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."- A.W. Tozer

Grace and Peace to you.