the babies understand.

its crazy how different things feel around the house when babies come and go through adoption. i love seeing God's plan for each baby come out through meeting their families but it hurts when we look at empty highchairs or only get 4 bumbos out for "watching time" rather than 6.

we obviously realize what is going on when hope and eli left... and it is becoming more and more obvious that the older kids realize as well:

julia talking about how she wants hope and eli but knows they are with mama and baba.

miah today mentioning eli then asked:

"miah, where is eli?"

"with mama"

"with mama and juju??" (since he calls trena mama)

"no! with mama and baba eli!"

obviously...lizzie understands her fellow girl in the house of crazy boys is leaving...

these kids get it. and share the tears and the excitement we feel when one of their "siblings" goes to be with their families.

stares

at the beginning i noticed the stares that i get on a regular basis....then as time went by i kind of got used to them, not really noticing kind of forgetting that i am often one of the only white people in sight..

until i went to the public hospital with annabelle and solomon today to get immunizations and then i realized:

yes i really was the ONLY white person in the entire hospital.

and yes i was a mzungu holding a kenyan baby.

hence the BLATANT stares. like mouths hanging open, staring over their shoulders type of stares. auntie jully and i had quite a lot of fun with it :)

meanwhile: my baby is turning dark! and i love it!

when she was first born she was light and had REALLY dark ears. (note ears/face differences)

everyone said that means that she will change and become much darker...and indeed it's true. behold my black beautiful baby. (this pic is at 6:30am after a long night...both of us clearly WIDE awake. aka: she was. i was not)

lou lou

bright-eyed and full of joy!

footballer

i always kind of looked sceptically at those kids who were placed in sports when they were toddlers...is that really necessary?

now i know why.

miah IS a footballer.

this kid is 2 years old and can run along with a ball kicking it 4 or 5 times in a row....rather than the typical toddler run to the ball, stop, kick, repeat.

he can drop kick.

he can kick any ball in the air.

and he is 95% always straight on.

today i helped him learn how to head the ball.

he'll master it soon i'm sure.

and he is always happiest when he has any ball in hand. he wakes up and wants a ball, he goes to sleep holding a football.

he needs to be in a football league.

i no longer judge, this kid's got natural talent.

photo of the week

i love looking down and seeing this precious girl wrapped to me.

i want to cradle wrap her every day.

God's timing

On our way home from visiting our mamas at the knitting shop we got a call from the children's department saying that there was an abandoned boy and we welcomed baby boy Solomon to haven of Hope!

He is probably 1 1/2 years old, is able to walk, speaks clear Kiswahili, and is very happy to be in a home, clean and dry!

He came to us in a VERY stylish knit orange outfit. nice.

God has been really good in showing us His timing and provision over these kids, the home and ministry. Today we also met and began the fostering of our precious boy Eli. As we are loosing these babies we began to worry what it would be to have so few babies in the home...but the day Hopey met her mother? God blessed us with baby Annabelle. the day we met Eli's parents? here comes Solomon...God gives, and takes away. as the season of caring and loving Eli comes to a close we begin a new season with Solomon.

and seeing Eli's parents confirms that God's plans for these kids are GOOD. They are from Nairobi, both police officers. His father has a great spirit, full of joy, just like his little boy. Eli has a dad to look up to, and follow in his footsteps.

this little boy is so special. Hilarious. Beautiful. Full of complete Joy. and has incredible potential.

I will so miss waking Eli in the morning, seeing his beautiful smile getting hugs and kisses from him. laughing at his funny antics and loving him with my whole heart.

mix of emotions

it has been a very emotional, busy week here at the baby house, experiencing a lot of firsts...the biggest being the first adoption of a haven of hope baby.

little hopey went home this week to be with her forever mama.

having worked in the states with adoption/foster care i have been excitedly waiting to see the process unfold: getting to know hope for who God made her to be, loving her deeply, celebrating with the news of her being approved for adoption, getting chills when reading her mama's file which was immediately sent to us and then watching her bond, and go home with her new family, one that will love her and care for her as their own.

Mama Hope is a young widow who lives in the village who has experienced great loss. She has a lot of love to give and we immediately saw this love for Hopey when Mama first saw her. We are confident that Hope's love, cuddles, laugh and will share Jesus with her new family.

and though it was a very sad, emotional, day i am excited and at peace with knowing that Hope is with her family. which is all i want for her. but wow i will miss this little girl.

me with all my babies and aunties (minus one who was on her off)....

maybe this is God's way of spreading out the "goodbyes" and making it less heartbreaking for me in 5 weeks...eh, probably going to be just as hard. wishful thinking.

taste of oreos

in the care package from steph, she sent me oreos. which are indeed treasured here.

but because i love these kids, when eli and miah were in my room i let them try one.

based on this video...i think they liked it.

awesome.

promise of blessing.

while awake with Annabelle at night i was reading psalm 103.

and started to weep because it says:

"praise the Lord O my soul...who redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion"

this is a promise for this little girl that is incredibly clear.

she was in a literal pit.

God saved her life.

and CROWNS her with love and compassion, the opposite of everything in the pit.

our Father loves her so much he removed her from hell on earth and puts her in warm clothes and blankets, giving her Jesus' love through us, and reminds us of His love, grace and hope every time we look at her.

i love this little one.

photo of the week

Eli is awesome at block building. and he's very proud. and adorable.

Welcome Annabelle!

we are very excited to welcome precious 1 day old baby Annabelle to our haven of hope family!

God saved this beautiful baby out of the pit. we got a call this afternoon from the local police station: a woman found Annabelle in a plastic bag in a pit latrine and dug her out, kept her for the night and then brought her to the police station this morning.

the woman who saved her life is named Ann...Trena and I thought that was one of the final choices of names, when we went to the home, without telling the girls our thoughts, Maggie emphatically said "her name should be Annabelle!" and it indeed fits her well!

auntie jully giving her first bottle when she came home.

She is now clean, dry, and happily sleeping next to me (as hopefully she will continue to do!) she eats very well about an ounce at a time. after going to the hospital for a check-up she is very healthy, just swollen eyes and an infected umbilical cord (which when we got her was tied with yarn. now is clean and clamped) from being in the latrine. with antibiotics should be cleared within the week.

we are blessed to have this little girl and already know God has great plans for her!

off to sleep while she is sleeping!

family

haven of hope is really a family.

as we prepare and discuss our first ones to be adopted out of the home i have realized more and more how strong these bonds are. the aunties (and trena and i) love these kids as if they were our own (as is evidenced by the instant tears whenever adoption is brought up) and they love each other as brothers and sisters.

but it is just as important to remember that God has given us these babies for a season. a season in their lives where we can BE their family, can love them as they deserve to be loved for the time that God is preparing their family. we are able to provide them with relationships that will be filled by others for the rest of their lives.

it has been quite the experience seeing the process of knowing these babies and seeing them placed with their real families. it gives me chills to see how specifically and awesomely God has picked the perspective parents for each of these kids. God knows these babies better than we will ever know them and he has their families specifically chosen for each of them- meeting their every need. and his plans for them are good.

and though it makes me nauseous thinking about watching any one of them leave, i know that God is protecting them and i KNOW how deeply each of them has touched my heart and life. i love them and thank God that i could be a part of their season here, even if only for 4 months.

huh.

interesting evening:

1) took me 20 minutes instead of 5 to get home tonight...because i got stuck in the middle of cattle. yup. huge cows, surrounding the car. i was moving the speed of cows. awesome.

2) watched "pre-school power" dvd..one of the kids' favorites which is a sing-a-long dvd with common kids songs with fun corresponding videos in the background a few things about this program:

- why does "humpty dumpty" have a giant dancing dolphin in the background?

- why does three blind mice show a kid with a mullet running around a summer fair?

- who knew "how much is that doggie in the window" have verses about taking a roadtrip to california and also about there being robbers with flashlights in the city?

huh.

consumed

God has been challenging me recently, asking me how consumed i am with who He is.

how do my:

choices of how to use free time

words

actions

thoughts about myself and others

reflect that i am consumed, filled, and complete in Him?

tonight instead of watching the typical hispanic soap dubbed in english while eating suzie (the other one...not referring to me in third person) said she was going to go outside and worship by herself. we soon heard her singing sweet worship songs to her Father and it was a beautiful thing. when she returned (to feed her hunger before returning) someone asked, why are you singing tonight suzy? and she responded "because i am so in love with my Jesus i feel like singing to Him so all can hear"

i want to have that unrestricted love and passion for God. that all my actions and the words out of my mouth are not only honoring to Him but showing Him to others...singing JUST because I am in love with Him.

package fun.

The baby house had a great surprise when we got a big package from STEPH EBRIGHT! thanks to her 1st grade class babies had a great time updating their closets with some pretty awesome clothes.

Eli sporting his ADORABLE new collared shirt.

not a great lizzie picture but adorable outfit!

yeah and that's a perfect joseph outfit. (look at those chunky legs!)

miah smiling like a big boy in his tommy shirt. hello little charmer.

and joseph again in his baller sweat outfit. love it. (please note awesome denim shoes with orange laces. yup.)

and here is a video of them loving the new stuffed animals! (i had great intentions of posting many of the videos i have of this...but with INCREDIBLY slow internet and me not understanding blog/video relations you only get one youtube link...but you still get to see these adorable kids in action for 45 seoconds! enjoy!)

Miah and Eli exploring the toys

thank you SO MUCH steph and mrs. ebright's 1st grade class! the babies love everything (and steph i sure do love all of my goodies as well!)

carpooling

today when we were eating dinner (ugali. again.) we saw a commercial that mentioned carpooling.

sitting with 3 women who have never driven a car and rarely ride in them they looked at me with confused faces and asked the simple question "what is this carpooling?"

simple thing. that i have done since i was the age of these babies we are watching.

and explaining things that are so ingrained sometimes is more difficult than i imagine..

"ummm ya know, if there are multiple people going to the same place you drive in one car..to save money, and its better for the enviornment"

blank stares

"why not just walk?"

valid question my african friends, valid question.

lyrics

i love good songs. tonight i am listening to christy nockles "waiting here for you".

a song i just got and it's a good one. one that hits me right where i am, right where God has me, confirming everything i am learning.

some of the best lines:

if faith can move the mountains, let the mountains move

i come with expectation, i am waiting here for you.

you are the lord of all creation, and still you know my heart

i am waiting here for you, with hands lifted high in praise, it is you i adore.

You are everything you've promised, your faithfulness is true.

I am desperate for your presence, all we need is you."

God is good. His faithfulness and promises are true.

photo of the week

hopey tickle spot.

lent

sooo today is fat tuesday.

usually i give up chocolate for lent

and since chocolate is CRAVED and SAVORED this time in kenya i'm thinking this year is a little bit different...

hmmm i'm thinking this year i'll give up ugali....

edit: as i was eating ugali tonight i realized that this would in fact bring me closer to God because it would prevent me from lying about eating in my room when i really just throw the food out the window for the goats (for those days i just can't make myself eat it...)

home

yes, i miss home. i miss beautiful (albeit cold) grap, family, friends, good food, showers that don't start smoking and cut out mid-shower, target, all of the ease and joys of home.

but after a long weekend trip in nairobi i walked into the baby house

was greeted by big hugs from my fellow aunties

and "suzie! suzie! suzie!" from all of the babies

3 kids at once in my lap

and realize i am at home here.

i have family here.

i have friends here.

thanks to nairobi supermarkets i have SOME american food here.

and i couldn't be happier about it.

God, you have opened and allowed my heart to be captured by these beautiful people in this great country.

lunch

the ladies at our shop love hearing about america. and love even more to experience it! so we thought that it would be fun to bring them a typical american lunch.

on the menu:

- COLD carrot sticks

- 1/2 of a pb & j

- 1/2 of a ham and cheese with lettuce and cheese sandwich

- chips

- apples

pretty typical...for us.

there was a lot of laughter.

the lettuce was the craziest part for them...weren't quite sure what to do with it...and the fact that it was UNcooked.

but overall...they ate it all, felt full and satisfied.

and we got to eat a typical american lunch too!

win-win.

survival

i dont love the real african food. its not terrible, i eat it, but its not good.

but let me tell you...

MANGOS

and

CHIPATI

are my survival tools. (that and this fab chocolate bar i bought tonight at tusky's)

i loooove them and must eat them as often as possible in the next 2 months.

i anticipate going through withdraws.

photo of the week

sometimes, when they dress the babies the same, they look like convicts....

but these boys are cute none the less.